A random coffee shop on a Tuesday morning

 So I found myself in need of going to a government office in Anchorage this morning. Because of potentially nasty road conditions I set off on my journey well before I needed to be there, and low and behold, I found myself at this office 20 minutes before it opened. I stood there for a moment looking at the locked doors, contemplating the 5 minute walk back to my car to wait, but it was cold and windy and I really didn’t want to. Across the street was a local coffee shop called “Dark Horse Coffee”. Now I named this coffee shop so now you know one of two options is coming… this was either the worst experience or the best experience.

I walk in, it’s a random little building in downtown anchorage. It definitely used to be a very very tiny house, and could certainly use some renovations. When I got stepped in I was greeted warmly by the two ladies behind the counter, and there was one other employee that was in the dining area calmly talking to (we will call him Andrew in this story) Andrew, a homeless man that had set up in the corner to warm up and charge his phone. Andrew is very socially awkward and certainly seemed to be autistic as well, but the lady slowly walked him through where the best place would be to charge his phone so that he could still keep an eye on it and his stuff. 

I ordered my coffee and went and sat down at a table, and watched. I’m a people watcher by nature, its fun to see how people interact with the world around them. I watched as all the baristas came and checked on Andrew and made sure he had everything he needed, but also lovingly gave him a time where he needed to be out by.

While sitting, drinking coffee, and beginning to type out this post another man came into Dark Horse Coffee who must be a regular. As soon as Andrew saw him he said “Hi (we are gonna call him Steve because I can’t remember his name) Steve! I need to talk to you!”

“Ok Andrew, I have a couple of minutes I can talk, but then I have some things I need to do.”. With that statement Steve went and sat down at a table and talked with Andrew for a good 5 minutes… by talk I mean Andrew talked to Steve, and Steve sat there nodding and asking a clarifying question or two. Most of the conversation was nonsense, about how one of Andrew’s friends has a car, and other things like that. At the end of the conversation Andrew thanked Steve for talking and gave him a fist bump. 

As I was sitting there watching all of these interactions going on I got to thinking, as I do sometimes. This coffee shop was a beautiful picture of what the church could, and should be. In fact it was doing what the church is charged with doing! Caring for people, be they members or not! 

Anyways, I just kind of wanted to share that story from this morning. It was an awesome, faith in humanity restoring moment. Thanks Dark Horse Coffee for the amazing Mocha and for just being good people, keep it up!

In a world filled with tribulations, we serve a God of peace.

 To be frank, life has been a bit crazy lately. Everywhere I turn there seems to be some sort of new bump in the road of life, and none of them have felt small… in fact they all remind me of a pot hole my dad and I once hit on our way to dip net fishing one year where we hit our heads on the roof of the suburban… but I digress. 

In all of this it is amazing to me how the Bible, and what I have been reading and learning, continue to be relevant to every situation. The Bible truly is the living word of God, and sharper than any two edged sword. I couldn’t find more applicable sections to my life than what I have been reading lately if I tried. 

This last month I have been going through the book of John. So I was sitting down doing my reading the other day, if I am being honest that day I was just reading because I am supposed to to read the Bible. It’s expected of me as a Christian, and especially as someone who holds the title of “Pastor”. So there I found myself, in a depressive frustrated lump, reading my Bible when I came across John 16:33. Jesus has been speaking to the disciples and wraps up everything with 

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

Now to give this verse some context. Jesus has been sitting and talking to His disciples for quite a while. The things He has been talking about are… not great, and honestly pretty troubling. He talks about how He is going away, how the world will despise, reject, hate, and kill them. He has also given some comfort in the fact that the “Helper” is coming (Holy Spirit). But all in all everything before this was… well lets just say it was not a great pep-talk… no one was leaving that with warm fuzzies. But Jesus wraps up all of this in the end with three simple statements. 

The first statement Jesus made is this: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.” There is a lot to unpack in this statement. Jesus has been talking about Him going away, about how the world will reject them… but He has also given hope, saying that they will be able to communicate directly to The Father (God). We can try to find our peace in all sorts of places… and we do try to find our peace in all sorts of places! But the only true, continual source of peace is in Jesus. That is where we need to seek to find our peace. 

The second statement that Jesus made in John 16:33 is: “In the world you will have tribulation”. This is a simple statement of a fact. This world will be rough. There will be conflict. There will be strife. There will be pain. There will be sorrow. Life is going to suck. But…

The third statement that is made brings us back to peace and hope: “But take heart; I have overcome the world. ” Let me let you in on a well known secret… JESUS WINS!!! HE CONQUERED HELL DEATH AND THE GRAVE!!!! So take heart! Have courage. Yes we will experience tribulations because we live in the world. It’s a fact of life. But it is also a fact of life that JESUS HAS OVERCOME IT ALL! Ultimately we will have peace comfort and life in Him for all eternity!!! I dont know about you, but THAT fills me with the warm fuzzies. Through the struggles of like take heart, because Jesus has got you. HE has overcome the world. 

I wish I had some sort of profound quote to end this with to help it stick with you, but I dont. Whenever I write it is simply from where I am at at the time. It’s about what God is teaching me in the moment, because that is what is fresh and real and alive in my life at the time. Currently he is teaching me to find my peace in Him, to not focus on the tribulations of the world, but to focus on His peace, and to find my rest in Him.  

I dont know what to call this.

 This last month has been… a lot… and in that the vocal minority can be so very very loud (believe it or not I’m not actually talking about politics!). It’s easy to listen to them, it’s easy to be distracted and discouraged by them, because they are so very very loud. Both in and outside of the church. 

So what can we do about this? If you believe in the Bible, that it is the living word of God, then there is a very specific call in our lives about what we need to be doing. Sadly, as much as we want it to be, it’s not to engage in verbal altercations with these people, it’s not to slap them as much as we want to sometimes. The call is to love, and love loud. 

Psychologically on average it takes 10 compliments to undo the damage of 1 insult. That is a lot of love that needs to be dished out, and Jesus knew this! I’m currently reading through the book of John, and the word “love” is used 57 times throughout the book, while “hate” is only used 7. Now a lot of the use of the word “love” is about the love God has for us, but that is still only about half, so “love” far outweighs “hate”. In fact, there are multiple commandments specifically about love. 

In Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus lists the greatest commandments, to love God with everything you have got, and to love your neighbor as yourself. These seem easy when you just read them, but when you really start to get into the thick of it in life… that second one can get to be really really hard to follow. In this last month there have been many people I have wanted to get in their face and just let them have a piece of my mind. I have wanted to blast them on the internet saying “THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE IS A TOOL BAG AND A TERRIBLE PERSON AND I REALLY DONT LIKE THEM (its taken quite a bit of work to not have “hate” in that statement.)”… But there is that still small voice of the Holy Spirit in the back of my head that says “nope, don’t do that” 

This call to love is a tall order. It’s not attainable if we are being honest, at least not by human abilities. In John 15 Jesus talks about how He is the vine, and we are the branches. To be able to bear fruit WE MUST ABIDE IN THE VINE! We must abide in God, and we must abide in His love. These statements flow directly into the next section where Jesus dives into loving one another. Constant consistent love for others is impossible without abiding in Jesus. There is a reason the first fruit of the spirit that is mentioned is Love. We are called to bear the fruit of love, and it needs to be big and loud.

1 Corinthians 13 is generally called the “love chapter” diving into love and what it looks like, and why it is important. Many of us are familiar with it and what love should look like… but what about what it is not supposed to look like, what about what love is not? What happens when we asses our relationship by what love is not? According to 1 Corinthians 13 love is not envious, boastful, arrogant, or rude. It doesn’t insist on its own way, irritable or resentful. It doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing. When we look at these and realize that this is the relationship that we are called to have WITH EVERYONE it gets rough. 

It’s at this point that my brain starts saying “yeah… but did he really mean ‘everyone’? God could not possibly expect us to love everyone… does He really know what these people did to me?!?!?! What they did to my family?!?!?! What they did to my friends?!?!?!? Does God really know the hurt, pain, tears, and strife that these people have caused?!?!?! BECAUSE IF HE DID HE WOULD NOT EXPECT ME TO TRULY LOVE THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE *insert deep insult here*!!!” (… dang that got a little more heated than I intended it to…) 

And the simple response that God always gives is “Yes, you are called to love”.

Jesus loved… He loved the world to the point that He died for it. To give everyone a fair shot to abide in Him. Even those that rejected Him, insulted Him, spit on Him, and ultimately killed Him. He died for them. He died because of the love He had for ALL. 

I dont really know where to go with this… honestly as most of my blog posts are this is a lot of word vomit about what God has been teaching me, and this is where I am at. Struggling to love those that have wrong me and people I care about. And in that struggle realizing my continual need to abide in God and to let His love flow through me, because I can’t love on my own. God called us to be LOUD about love, to the point that He said that is how people will know us. That’s where I want to be, but I am a long way from that… 

In > fear/friendship

 I feel that, as American Christians, we have done a disservice to those we are trying to reach, and we are now seeing a continual exodus from the church because of that. That disservice is how we talk about a relationship with Jesus to others. 

There are two ways I continually see a relationship with Jesus being talked about. The first is Jesus is like fire insurance. Don’t want to go to hell? Just accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you are good! Boom! No hell for you… oh yeah and follow all these rules about how you need to look and act to really make sure you don’t go to hell! In this relationship God is seen as a dictator. You MUST follow “His” rules (I say that tongue in cheek) or burn in hellfire for eternity. It makes it feel as though God is constantly watching, waiting for any little slip up so that he can punish us. All of this simply is not true.

The other way I constantly see a relationship with Jesus described as is as a friendship. Doesn’t that give you the warm fuzzies? Being a friend of God just sounds nice. It sounds easy. It’s someone I met on the street and text every so often. No real commitment needed on my part because I have a friend that will never leave me! It doesn’t matter what I do! It’s awesome! I dont need to change who I am or what I do! There is no real commitment! It is so easy! No rules, no consequences, just friendship! (dont get me started on how a vast majority of us have an abusive friendship with God… ill write about that another day) 

But neither of these things is what our relationship with God is called to look like. Worrying about slipping up and the ensuing hellfire is tiring. You are constantly on edge just trying as hard as you can not to mess up. Being a friend is just so casual, it is really easy to pick up and put down whenever it is convenient. There is no real commitment. Neither of these pictures is the relationship that we are called to in the Bible. 

In Matthew 16:24 Jesus paints a very simple picture of what it means to have a relationship with Him.

 

“Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me”

Jesus didn’t call people to a life of fearing Him. He didn’t call people to a life of warm fuzzies and constant hugs. We are called to take up our cross and follow in His footsteps. This requires work. This requires sacrifice. This requires life change. Jesus is there ahead of us, blazing a trail for us to follow. Picking us up and dusting us off when we fall, but continually pushing us to pursue something greater than ourselves. 

When we talk about a relationship with God only in terms of it saving us from hell, we do a disservice by selling fear. God didn’t call us to have a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

When we talk about a relationship with God as just being friends, we fall so short of what it actually is. It makes it sound easy to pick up and put down whenever it’s convenient… and most of the time it’s not convenient to pick up that friendship!

A true relationship with God is a life long life changing experience. It’s a call to more. It’s a call to greater things. In some ways it is a call to an easier life, in others it’s a call to a harder life. It’s a call to wake up every morning and ask God to show us His way, and for Him to give us the strength to pursue it. It’s a call to more. 

Let me tell you my life would be SO MUCH EASIER if I decided to just have a friendship with God… But my life is so much more fulfilling because I chose daily (ok… lets be honest not every day… but I try) to pick up my cross and follow Him, striving be more like Him every day. To be His Disciple, to be His apprentice. 

Widen your hearts

 Have you ever been reading the Bible, and it just sorta knocks you over the head with something so simple, yet so profound? Well that’s what happened to me this morning. 

My students and I are currently reading through the New Testament, and this weeks reading is 2 Corinthians 4-8. 

I found myself in a coffee shop this morning, and now every Tuesday morning for the foreseeable future, but I digress. Anyways there was a large group of retired people meeting there, they had pulled multiple tables together to form one giant table, leaving not very many tables for the rest of the patrons of this establishment. They were also VERY LOUD!!! I have a really good pair of noise canceling headphones (Thanks Siah) that I wear when I am in public trying to work, and despite these headphones I COULD STILL HEAR ALL THEIR CONVERSATIONS even though they were all the way across the room. It. Was. Loud. And I was angry. I wanted to have a nice quiet morning of studying in a coffee shop but noooOOOOoooOOOoooo.

So there I sit, trying to focus, trying to study, trying to take notes, trying to “rise above the noise” when I came across 2 Corinthians 6:13 

“In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.”

Dang… I sat back and stared at that group of people for a while. Let me tell you, it was super convicting. In my head I had written these people off. They were loud, they were obnoxious and worst of all THEY HAD DISRUPTED MY PLANS FOR THE MORNING. But we have been called to have space in our heart for all people. Jesus still loves these people. These people are my “neighbors” and as a follower of God I am called to love these people, im called to “Widen my heart”. 

This made me sit there and reflect and think on my own life for a bit, specifically the regrets I have had from narrowing my heart in the past. Trust me, there are some big ones, maybe I will write about them some day. 

So here is my challenge to myself, and to you this morning. Who in your life do you need to “widen your heart” for? I can already think of a few people in my own life, and I know there are people in yours. What can you do to show those people love TODAY?

Sorting Candy

I don’t know if I have ever met anyone more content with their circumstances than Talia. For those of you who don’t know my 4 year old daughter, she has severe egg and dairy allergies, and since we don’t like going to the ER we try our best to avoid them. This becomes a real struggle around “candy” holidays, like halloween and Easter, where so much of the candy is MILK chocolate. 

So we were sitting at the table the other day, opening the eggs she had gathered at our church easter egg hunt. Egg after egg contained candy with ingredients that would send her to the ER in anaphylactic shock. She would simply take it and set it over in the “I can’t have this” pile. Time and time again she would ask “Dad, can I have this candy?”, and I would have to respond “Nope, that one has dairy.”. 

When all was said and done, we had a mountain of candy that she could not eat, and three pieces she could. Let me tell you though, you have never seen a kid so excited about three pieces of candy. She didn’t care about all the things she couldn’t have. She never got discouraged after opening so many eggs and not being able to eat them, she simply celebrated when she got a piece she could have. 

I was thinking about this today as I am feeling really discouraged because of some of the circumstances I find myself in (not by my fault, it’s just how life is sometimes). It is so easy to look around at everything I don’t have, and just can’t achieve right now, all the things the world says I need to be happy. However, I need to refocus what I am looking at. I need to not focus on the pile of candy I can’t have, instead I need to celebrate the three pieces I can have! Let me tell you those pieces are truly exciting! 

Anyways that’s just my thoughts vomited out onto a computer keyboard for today.

The Story of Me part 4... the final so far...

 October of 2022 we headed to Arizona! There were a few different reasons we chose to move to Arizona, with the foremost being that some of my siblings lived there. When we moved I didn't have a job lined up. I had had a few really good interviews before we moved where I got to the final interview which for both was just supposed to be a formality. One of them had transferred my application to another state on accident and the other wanted me to move to another location in the state, Both jobs would have been really good, with a lot of potential for promotions, but they just fell through from "random" things. I had another really good interview once we got to AZ, where at the end of the interview the fraise "when you get the job offer" was used by the manager... but then the corporate office decided not to hire me. All of these jobs would have left us very content and comfortable in AZ... but that's not what God had in mind. 

Finally after being in Arizona for 3 months and applying for anything and everything I finally got a part time job on the military base working at a middle school and teen center. Since it was just part time Bethany and ended up having to work as well at the Childhood Development Center (0-5 year olds) on base as well. Because of this both of our kids also were in childcare at the time, which neither of us were big fans of. 

On Monday, March 14th 2023, Bethany and I sat down to talk. Neither of us really liked our jobs, there were a lot of issues with Bethany's work, and I didn't realize just how much ministry was a part of who I was. I still loved working with the middle and high school kids, but talking with them and hearing about their struggles and only being able to say "it gets better" was incredibly disheartening to me. We talked about how Bethanys desire was to be able to be a stay at home mom and I really missed ministry. The conclusion of our talk was that in a few months I would start poking around looking for a youth pastor job somewhere and hopefully we would be able to move when our lease was up on the house, which would be in November. We prayed about it for a while that night, and then went to bed.

Two days later, March 16th, i'm sitting in the parking lot at work with the music cranked when I got a Facebook messenger notification. The message was from Brandon, someone I had been friends with since Alaska Bible College. To sum it up, Brandon was looking for a full time youth ministry director for the church he was lead pastor at, and God had brought my name to his mind. I sat there stunned for quite a while because, if this went through, it settled a lot of the apprehensions I had about going back into ministry which I might write about another time. 

Over the next couple months there were interviews and applications filled about and all that, and then over fathers day weekend I got to fly up and meet the rest of the staff as well as go to church. It was a great weekend, and it truly felt like coming home. I had diner with the Elders and the rest of the staff, I got to catch up with some old friends from the area (and one past summer staff member from the springs). On Sunday I got to go to church. No one announced I was there, or even knew who I was, I got to experience Change Point MatSu as a first time visitor, and it was easily the most welcome I had felt at a church in quite a while. That trip truly cemented that fact that this was the next step that God had for Bethany and I. 

Long story short, we made it! We have now been here for about three months and it has been amazing. As normal there have been hiccups and unplanned things along the way, but it is easy to tell that this is truly where God wants us right now. too many things have lined up for it to just be "coincidence". If I wrote out all the answered prayers and ways God has shown up in our move to Alaska it would take an entire book.

I am finishing writing this around thanksgiving, it's taken a while to write them all because life gets crazy sometimes and I don't have the time or energy to write. But honestly it's pretty cool to look back over these last few posts about my life, and seeing how God has been continually guiding me through the weird life I have lived. I know it sounds cheesy, but in this time I am thankful for God and His guidance. That he has placed me in an awesome ministry working with an amazing team of people that are FOR the community we are in. I am thankful for everyone who helped get us here. I am thankful that we were able to sell a majority of our stuff in Arizona because it would have been too much money to get it to Alaska. Im thankful for a very generous church family that donated SO MUCH STUFF to us when we did get here. I am thankful I get to work with youth AND TELL THEM ABOUT JESUS!!! 

This is then end of the story for now. I already know that there will be more to add in the future as God continues to work on me, in me, and graciously though me.